As I write this, I’ve just started my playlist. The song playing right now? “Adventure of A Lifetime” from Marcel’s “This Is Not Jazz” album.
What an adventure it’s been indeed… and I would like to say that I would not have coped if it wasn’t for the music helping me along the way.
To give you a glimpse of where my heart and mind have been, and are now – I’d like to share my Spotify Personal 2020 Hits playlist. Also, there are the books that I read in 2020 that have had a profound influence on my life and the way I did things. I hope you enjoy them.
Conversations with God (Book 1 & 2) – Neale Donald Walsch
Quantum Warrior – The Future of The Mind – John Kehoe
Nothing To Lose
My year in 2020 began with a decision that I had made in July 2019… I asked - and an answer was given. For once, I was willing to not only listen; but also to act. So, on a cold winter morning – while I walked up a steep road going to work at the day-care – I learned faith.
I told myself that I would give everything that I have to my career as a designer. So then, long story short; that was me creating a website for my company. I was trying to build an online presence so that clients could find me. Ironically, that’s how I’m starting this year to…
If that’s anything to go by, I’d say that this year is going to be so amazing – I am ready to reach new heights…
Oh, and I really did give it everything right from the get-go. In July 2019 I got to meet the marketing manager at Capasso – they were looking for a graphic designer for their upcoming online campaigns. One of the things that they were looking for was a brochure; and bingo!
I didn’t get called back, and so in January [2020], I called them – with a proposal for a redesigned brochure. I really wanted to do that brochure… It got me really excited, and so not getting called back couldn’t deter me.
When angels return home
The last time I saw her, was the last time she had asked me to come over sometime for a sleepover…
uMam’ Sbo’ was a person who believed in me when it felt like I had to climb mountains with folders on my back. She is the reason why I got to Randfontein in 2017 [that’s a story for another day]. Her husband, uBab’ Richard, was one of the kindest and coolest people I knew. I knew them both for a very short time… Very short time. But in that short time, their prayers and positive words spoken over me were amplified manifold. I had never cried for the passing of a loved one before… But this time, the news hit me like thorns. Really, tiny, thorns, to the heart…
In the same month, they transitioned, my grandfather also followed… I think I can speak for most of us; in saying that 2020 has shown us a lot of lessons through death. And for me, that lesson is to celebrate – celebrate life, breath, laughter, love, and even the not so easy times.
My love goes out to those who have transitions in 2020, and to all of their loved ones [in particular];
Sibongile Mahlalela
Richard Mahlalela
My Grand Father
MJ's Grand Mother - uGogo Sdudu
Thabang's Grand Mother - uMam' Msimango
Enter Covid
Before I go into this one – can I just ask a very stupid question? Why is it Covid “19”? Why not "20"? How did we get to 19 so fast? Who had 15? I mean…
Okay, so after what seemed like two months of attending funerals every other weekend – I got to breathe a bit… And just as I was beginning to re-establish a routine, the country started “coughing”. You won’t believe this; on Friday I came home for the weekend - because we were hosting a poetry session at Notepad Poetry. Saturday we had a blast at the session. On Monday I was trying to decide whether or not to run back to Randfontein… On Wednesday the country was closed. The lockdown hit, and it hit hard.
I was with my whole family here, and I saw just how tough things got. My dad, who was the breadwinner at the time, was so stressed that his job might take a hit as well. The threads… we were hung by. Obviously, my plans also took a hard knock. For example; I was in the middle of selling that brochure to Capasso, and Covid rendered it null.
Very quickly I decided to use the time to improve myself, my skills, and my knowledge. I took the I-to-I TEFL course online, I took the UX course at Future Learn. I started doing tai-chi and working out more often. I guess it’s because I always try to see the best in everything and everyone…
The cohort of dreams
Early in March, I had made it into the Hub@Goethe program – which was supposed to start in April. It only began in June officially, due to Covid and the lockdown restrictions. And we had to do the whole program online. Hmmm… So much opportunity there, we became pioneers…
How should I put this? I regret absolutely nothing about the program. I learned so much from it, and the people involved. It was such a blessing to be part of the program. And I’m going to keep this one really short; because it really is a story for another day. But, in the end for me here; I had to accept many truths and realities that I didn’t want to accept before. It was the Hub@Goethe program that set me on this path of being a UX/UI designer. Through great business coaching and strengths coaching, I got to learn so much about business, about myself, and ultimately how the two interact. That kind of understanding is priceless to me. And I will forever cherish it.
A mega shout out to these guys and everyone whomst I cannot mention; Namaste.
Sibongile, Stephanie, Moipone, Julia, Mncobi, Ncomi, Nobantu, Njabulo, Claudine, Tawanda, Tatenda, Jarred, James, Ipfi, Keanu, Siphosihle, Sipho, Nathi, Lindiwe, Modisana, Buren, and Tsidetsi.
The homecoming
There were rollbacks at my dad’s company, and guess what? He was helping me with the rent in Randfontein…
In July, I got to go back to Randfontein for about a month… At that point in time, I was so desperate. I tried everything I could, to make rent for just one more month. But, nothing came together.
Packing was hard… I mean, tears just rolled out whenever I came across any memory that was dear to me. I cried the hardest when I realize that I'd be far from my girlfriend now… And having a talk with her about going away was one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have in my entire life. I mean, she turned Randfontein from a place into a home for me. In the last week I spent there, I revisited as many places around the town as I could. Each one has significant memories in my heart – she was in all of them…
And that’s why it hurts to part with Randfontein. It isn’t the parting itself, but the time and the manner in which it happened.
The only question that matters
At the end of the Hub@Goethe program in November, I was left with so many questions – more than answers…
What if I am at a dead end with my freelance practice? What should I do next? How do I get back closer to my girlfriend? Will I have to stay home Witbank… forever?
Amidst those, the only question that really mattered was; who am I?
Who am I? Who do I want to be? As far as I’m concerned, these are the only questions that matter in my existence. They are generally hard to answer, but fortunately for me – I have been preparing for them my entire life. And to prepare, I did. This was my chance to truly be who I am, and to be futuristic. This is my chance to for once jump ahead of the curve; because you see… I’m obsessed with wings. I’ve been collecting feathers my entire life, and now, I have wings.
Now…
One of my favorite poets; Saul Williams, talks about the present so beautifully. He says; “the president has no past, the present has no future.” To me, that means there is so much power now, and here – within me. To me, that means God really did make me in the likeness to him. I can make of the present whatever I so wish to make. I have incredible forging power over my reality…
And from this power of now [like a jar keeping precious stones and moments], I choose to be my authentic self, I choose to Just Be.
I choose to be a light, I choose to be a channel for love and peace. I choose to believe that I can change the world for my small little corner – by being a UX/UI designer, a poet/musician, a meditation instructor, and generally a candle that lights others. I choose to be grateful…
Thank you for being part of my journey
love and light
Sabelo – the Float Monk
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